Guest Lists & Focusing

I am not one who can multitask effectively in an immediate sense. It’s something that I know I need to work on in the long term because whenever Sylvia and I have a kid, I’d better be able to multitask or I’m going to spend about two decades in a stupor not knowing what’s going on and fighting the world to let me catch up. Sylvia though, has the opposite problem. She’s so good at multitasking that she stretches herself almost too broad and she can have a hard time getting individual things done because maintaining the big picture about anything is a lot of work in and of itself and focusing on one particular detail is about as perilous as turning a fan on a house of cards. It stresses her out and whenever I try to get her to slow down and simplify things a bit to make her life easier, I sometimes get a look and she says, “you make things sound too easy!” I do think we over-complicate things a lot of the time, but it’s hard getting what feels like anyone to acknowledge that.

Right now in life, I approach tasks or obstacles like a lumberjack with an axe. Give me an axe and a tree and I know what needs to be done. However, I can only cut one tree down at a time and to try otherwise is to risk my mental and physical health as well as any tools that I use to get the job done. To overextend a stupid metaphor further, if I’m really good at it, I can make it look like I’ve cut down a couple trees at once, even though to me, I’m just focusing on one thing at a time.

Wedding planning isn’t something that is something that lends itself to my generally singular approach, but Sylvia and her capacity for juggling untold amounts of events/information is a great manager. She gives me something to do, I clarify a bit just so I have clear guidelines or throw out any ideas I have and get to it. It works for us and I hope that it’ll keep us happy through the whole process of planning the wedding.

I’ve been recently working on a spreadsheet with the data for the guest list and it’s an upfront pain just because of the sheer size, but when it’s done and we have everything in there, it’ll make life really easy. We won’t have a bunch of email or physical addresses all over the place and the site we’re using for organizing everything (glosite) is amazing in that it will let us upload that data in a handy template so that we can have households and everything in one place so if we want to email everyone and let them know anything, we can just click, click, click, “hey guys, ignore the horse in the hotel lobby” or whatever random thing. We can just do it in one easy stroke. It’ll be amazing.

To further note how I approach things, Sylvia emailed me a list with contact info for people last night and it was sitting in my email inbox the next morning. My email inbox is only for things that are pertinent to immediate things and everything else is either archived or deleted once it’s no longer needed. I have one email exempt from that rule, but otherwise, I will move heaven and earth to keep that inbox empty because otherwise it’s overwhelming and makes me cranky.

So, I see this email and I immediately start working on adding that data so that I can archive that bastard and get my inbox to as close to single digits if I can because it’s an obstacle to keeping my email organized and what do with obstacles? I remove them because they’re in my way of a happy and sane life. I certainly don’t attack them with an axe, because that’d be psychotic and I’m done with that metaphor.


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