I have a particular disdain for wedding DJs. I feel like most of the time they tend to get it right, bringing a fair amount of energy, flair and cheese appropriate to a couple embarking on that great adventure called marriage. The remaining small percentage entails absolute garbage like the Chicken Dance. I hate the Chicken Dance. Let me emphasize that further.

I. Hate. The. Chicken. Dance.

I know people think it’s fun and harmless, but some visceral part of my being is convinced it’s actually the cause of societal decay, no matter what you might hear from any other news source/pundit/old guy in a rocking chair on a porch. Sylvia can’t stand it either, but she doesn’t have nearly the rabid contempt for it that I do. Having a DJ means there’s a non-zero chance of having the Chicken Dance played at the wedding, which I’m not okay with at all. Sylvia is more practical about it and cited the cost of hiring one as her objection to the idea of a DJ. She is also more thoughtful and got me on board with the idea that if we just do it ourselves with an iPod, we get exactly what we want and it doesn’t cost us anything.

We’re both aware that with the reduced cost of creating your own iPod wedding playlist, there’s a significant increase in the amount of work going on. Since we have about 9 months or so till the big day, we’ve made it a part of our general routine where we reach out and listen to music and then write it down if we think it’s a good candidate. It leads to some pretty entertaining sessions where we suggest totally offbeat songs for the wedding, but we also manage to find a lot of really nice ones too. I have a feeling that we’re going to have a really hard time narrowing down the actual playlist when it comes time because there are just so many good songs out there for not just the reception, but the wedding itself as well.

I know some of the ideas that we’ve come up with are terrible (mostly mine just because they’re so silly), but some of them really are great (mostly Sylvia’s because she actually knows music). I really like some of the ideas we’ve thrown around, regardless of how dumb or silly they might sound. I mean, wouldn’t it be rad as hell if you watched everyone coming in and/or walking down the aisle to RuPaul’s Cover Girl or if the recessional consisted of Booker T & the MGs version of Hang ‘Em High? What about the Commodore’s Brick House? That would fit in anywhere! Hell, I’d love a whole Motown wedding if I were allowed. I could go on and and on really. We still laugh about somehow shoehorning in Herman Hermit’s Mother in Law as some sort of dance, which would be fun except that we don’t dance. All in all, it’s a lot of fun trying to figure out what we want and that’s not something we’d be able to do if we had a DJ. If we had a DJ, we’d probably be constantly reminding them not to play the Chicken Dance to the point that they’d probably play it out of spite just to see me have a total meltdown. Probably.

Sylvia wants to get married multiple times to wear all the dresses she’s fallen in love with, but I want to get married multiple times just because of how many songs I want playing during the day itself. I’ve already joked about us renewing our vows 6 months after the wedding just to get to all of the stuff we couldn’t with the wedding. I’m pretty sure it’ll be vetoed, but I can’t be certain.


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