Stress – Invitations

So, the number one thing you hear that people say about planning a wedding is that you have to have fun with it. Statements like that make me a bit snarky because that’s like saying if you’re stressed, don’t stress! If you’re hungry, eat! I’m not trying to be mean, but because both mine and Sylvia’s stress levels are generally elevated right now, it’s the last thing we want to hear. We’re not panicking or anything, but generally speaking, things are kind of ramping up a bit and our defenses against the worst of the stress is getting through every now and again. I think we’re doing pretty good because we are generally having a good time of things, just when we’re living our lives, not focusing on the planning of the wedding. Granted, much of our free time, Sylvia’s in particular is dedicated to planning the wedding, but I’m able generally able to help her (and by extension, myself) weather the worst of it.

The thing in particular that was causing some consternation this past week was the invitations. Sylvia and our friend John designed them quite meticulously and they looked pretty good in the previews that I saw. Sylvia took them in to a local print shop and had them printed. When they came back, I thought they looked fine, but I’m not exactly a good litmus test for these kinds of things. There was a couple of elements that Sylvia wasn’t super excited about, but she thought they were good enough. Her mom, Diane, picked out the same couple of elements that Sylvia didn’t love and that seemed to cement that we had to go back and fix them. Sylvia was upset to have to go back and start over with the one particular element, but she also recognized that if she and her mom weren’t happy with it, it was going to bug the both of them all the way up to the wedding which wouldn’t be good.

So, she went back to the drawing board with John and they not only figured out how to correct the issue, but they dramatically improved it as well so it really pops a lot more when you pull it out of the envelope. Sylvia wasn’t thrilled to have to take it and get it printed again as she didn’t like having to leave work early, but I’m not exactly a trustworthy envoy considering my colorblindness. On Wednesday, I met her there to support and the print shop was confident that they could get it done before Friday, which was perfect as Sylvia wanted to assemble at least a few of the invitations for the international guests that she’d be seeing this coming week when she’s traveling for her Masters graduation ceremony. I figured that was that and we were good, until I get a frantic text from Sylvia saying that the shop was accusing us of changing some element of the color because they couldn’t color match the one reprinted element to the others that were fine from the first run. After confirming with John that the colors were all exactly the same and realizing that the print shop just didn’t know what they were doing, I made the decision and told Sylvia that we would just have to find a different shop that had their act together and get them done right. She wouldn’t be able to have them for her graduation trip to give to people, but we’d originally talked about shipping them all in a bundle to one of our friends in London with instructions for her to mail them out as it would save us a bundle on postage. As this was the original plan, so I figured it’d be a good one to fall back on, but Sylvia was still really upset and overwhelmed that it didn’t seem like things were going the way she wanted them to go.

I let it go and figured we’d talk more about it when I got home. I spent some time while at work researching different print shops so we could go ahead and get that figured out asap and get it out of the way. When I did get home, Sylvia wasn’t in a down mood at all and was actually quite chipper. I was in a foul mood though because I’d figured we’d just barely be able to have this one thing done and crossed off the list and it just wasn’t going to get done in a convenient fashion. Amusingly enough though, it turns out one of Sylvia’s meetings ran in such a way that she could leave early and head to the shop to confirm just how bad it was and there’s no difference to me at all. Whatever difference that was there is ever so slight that you would really really have to be looking for it. Given that and the fact that both of us were just done with it at this point, we just considered the matter finished and the invitations were done.

It’s crazy how little details for this event can make us totally crazy, but I’m starting to get the impression that it’s not just us. There’s ever so much of a hint that family and friends are starting to get really into everything and are anxious about everything being ever so right, which just serves to drive us ever so slightly more nuts. It’s one day and it’s arguably one of the most important days our lives, but I’m trying so hard to keep a solid perspective to keep it from consuming us and it’s tiring sometimes. Part of me is more than excited to just be married and moving on with our lives, but I can’t tell if I’m being selfish or if that’s just how some (most?) people feel at parts of the planning process.

One thing I’m taking from the whole experience is that I’m trying to hone and improve my ability to handle the stress of the planning so that in the future, I’ll be able to be more and more capable and to be a really reliable partner for Sylvia. That’s something I think I’m going to want to always improve on, regardless of now or 40 years from now. We just have to get through this wedding first! But remember to have fun with it!


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