Marriage

I have to preface this by saying that I’m sure that some of you might be offended by what I have to say below, but this is something that’s been on my mind for a while now and I feel like I have to lay it out as clearly and completely as I can. This isn’t an attack on anyone or anything, period. This is me with something on my mind that weighs heavily and I’m hoping that I can allow myself the permission to transfer some of the burden to this space.

I don’t understand why marriage works the way that it does in this country, especially in this day and age. I don’t understand why two consenting adults are either congratulated for making the leap while others are told that they’re not allowed to participate purely because they’re either a heterosexual couple or if they’re homosexual respectively. I do understand that there are numerous religious arguments as to why same sex couples can’t get married, but I’m not confused by that. Well, I am, but I’m also not a religious scholar, so I can’t really speak with any authority. What I’m getting at is that marriage is also a legal contract between two adults, right? I don’t understand why a legal contract  between two individuals is open, available and ready for those of opposing genders, but those of the same gender are disallowed for what seems to be no valid reason other than a really confusing religious ones.

If people want to make the argument that gay/lesbian/trans folks can’t get married in a religious ceremony, I can’t make any rebuttal against that because of my lack of understanding of most if not all religions. I think it’s well within someone’s right if that’s their faith and tradition, even if I personally disagree with it. However, I don’t see a reason why anyone’s faith or traditions should dictate what kind of legal contract/rights should be allowed between two consenting adults. If you want to say that under a religious umbrella that two people can’t get married, fine, but I don’t feel that is a reason to deny them the ability to strike out on their own and be recognized as a bonded couple in a legal sense.

The more I try to break it down from every other possible angle in my head, it doesn’t make any sense why two consenting adults shouldn’t be able to get married, period.

I know that there are arguments that one can choose your gender or sexual orientation, but why would anyone choose to be part of a minority that is consistently told that they’re not good enough to marry the person that they love? Does anyone have total control over who they fall in love with anyway? I think that the old saying that love is blind does have a meaning and purpose in this regard. If two people fall in love regardless of their orientations, I don’t see why they can’t be recognized just as validly as two people who happen to be heterosexual, especially if they want to make journey together that is marriage.

From a financial perspective, there’s all the reason in the world for gay marriage to be legal. Can you imagine all of the additional local and federal income that would come through if you suddenly had a host of folks finally getting to plan a wedding and all of the expense/cost associated with it? Even better from a financial perspective is that if you allow gay marriage, you’d have to allow gay divorce and that’s a whole other financial bucket that would be a boost to the economy. There would be all kinds of additional avenues where the financial system could get a bit of a jolt and I don’t know of anyone who wouldn’t want the economy to have a better shot at stability, especially when all that’s required is allowing people to get married.

From a social perspective, legalizing gay marriage makes sense to me because I think it would definitely make everyone more relaxed on every side of the aisle. If there isn’t this intense pressure from both sides to make it a reality, it takes the wind out of the sails of opposition or resistance, regardless of which party you want to attribute either label to. I have a feeling that there would be those on both sides of the debate that would still rail on in defense of whatever, but there are always a vocal minority of people that just like to yell about whatever they can. For the majority of people though? I have a feeling that most everyone else would go back to their otherwise normal lives and you know what? Most everyone is kind of boring when you get down to it. When people are boring, everyone tends to get along at least a bit better, which I’d say is always a plus.

So, if you don’t choose your gender or who you love and if it would seemingly benefit the economy and it would ultimately allow most people to just chill out, why shouldn’t it be allowed? I mean that as an open question because I’m really curious what about the prospect of two men or two women being married and being able to enjoy the benefits entailed is such a contentious issue.

I’ll even take it one step further.

Personally, I think it would make the most sense if the law of marriage was simplified to be purely a contract between two consenting adults. That would eliminate any issue with people afraid that if gay marriage is legalized, then what about people and animals? I’m sure that some would argue with me on this, but I don’t think that animals can consent for much other maybe being fed. It could also have the side effect of essentially making polygamy legal, but I think would actually make for an interesting and simplified dynamic as the marriage contract would still only be between two adults, not many. Additionally, it would eliminate the possibility of child marriage as they’re not adults yet. Yes, I’m sure anyone under the age of 18 would be upset, but if you already have to wait to buy cigarettes, I’m pretty sure you can wait to get married. If the door was thrown wide open and the legal aspect of marriage made simple and open, I really do feel that the overall quality of feelings we hold toward one another would ultimately be positive.

When it comes down to it though, we’re all people, right? I don’t think I’ve had the displeasure of meeting any monsters, literal or figurative. I would argue that the vast majority of everyone really just wants to get by and do their own thing without having to put themselves in the spotlight in an effort to highlight a particular conflict that is affecting them. I could go and make all kinds of comparisons to every other movement where the goal was at least some equality, but I don’t feel that I really need to. We all know at least a bit of history or at least the existence of other prior movements where people wanted to just be treated like adults and not like second class citizens.

Again, why is this such an issue? Why are people in such opposition to allowing anyone to get married regardless of gender? I want to at least understand the non-religious reasons why there is such a vocal opposition to the idea.

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