A Little Bit of Aftermath

We’re a little bit under two months since the wedding and it’s been kind of an interesting time in our lives. Occasionally Sylvia and I will look at each other and say, “man, we are so damn busy! Why?” Then one of us (usually me) stops and points out that we’re not planning a wedding anymore and that tends to lower any tension in the room dramatically if not comically also. It is true that we are pretty busy on the whole, but a lot of it is catch up on stuff that we put aside while working on the wedding planning. A lot of it is us also trying to reintegrate ourselves amongst our friends and generally trying to enjoy life for the sake of it. Funny thing about that though is the post-wedding list of things we want to do is still overwhelming, so we’ve sort of taken the strategy of pushing ourselves a bit more than we’d normally want to. The result of that I think is a balance that’s actually pretty healthy since we haven’t become hermits nor have we managed to over-schedule. It’s been really nice and I think we’ve been pretty good at sort of learning how to be part of the world again.

There is a bit of an additional complication in that nobody really told us how much work there would be to do post-wedding! It’s like there’s homework! Lots of it! I’ve heard people talk about all the things that they had to do, but the only thing that ever seemed to really sound like a big thing was writing thank you notes. I’ll get to that in a minute, but the thing that really came out of left field was pictures. Our amazing photographer Johnny Knight got over 1,600 back to us and that was after culling down from over 8,000! Then you factor in that Chitra took about 1,000 that she let us have, then you factor in everyone else who took photos posted out there already and it’s just a huge huge amount of data that needs attention. The digital era has sort of created weeks of extra work of culling through thousands of photos just to reduce it down to about 100 for a photo album for us and then if we want to print any out for us or anyone else, then you’re talking more time and I can’t describe how overwhelming that it is. I loved our wedding and everything about the day and going through the photos once was totally awesome, but after about the third pass in a few weeks, it gets a little hard to be excited about them. That said, I think Sylvia has an album up on Facebook now, so I’m likely going to upload a wider range of photos at some point just to make sure that anyone who wants to really get into the nitty gritty of the day can totally spend that time doing so.

Thank you notes have been kind of an interesting experience. At this point, we’ve managed to write all of our thank you notes to people who gave us a gift or at least a card. We haven’t had any awkward experiences where someone gave us something that went missing or for a walk, but we’ll see how that pans out. When there are two of you writing thank you notes, it’s far easier than you’d expect. Go figure that the thing I was sort of the most afraid of would end up being one of the relatively easiest things to handle. It has been interesting though because we did have some friends and family that didn’t give us a gift, which I’m totally fine with, but they didn’t get us a card either and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Part of my brain sort of hits this weird mode where I’m kind of hurt that people that we love didn’t just get us a nice card. Then I get kind of annoyed about in a way that I can’t even really put into words because it just makes that little sense. My brain eventually settles on the perspective of it’s kind of sad, but I don’t have intimate knowledge of the circumstances of everyone and I really have no real basis to be upset about it. Our friends and family showed up to such an important event and they gave us their love there and that should be more than enough, right? Right. Besides, we got pretty much everything on our registry anyway, so it’s not like there’s some hole there either. Hell, we got a lot of stuff we didn’t register for, but I have no way to go into that topic without offending the masses.

No, scratch that, I only really have one thing to say about it. A registry exists because there are things that a new couple need and want and they’re probably going to know better what’s going to suit them. I say probably because we did get some things that were totally off registry and are really nice, but when you’re opening gifts and you hit a patch of them that are off registry, you tend to start to panic that nobody thought you knew what you were doing when you registered, and that is an awful feeling.

Our rule about gifts did end up working out really well too. We didn’t unpack or otherwise utilize anything until we’d written a thank you note for it and I think that’s part of the reason that we managed to get them written so quickly. There were a few in particular that had to get written right away, like for the fancy mixer and my fancy vacuum cleaner so we could get to using them, but it was kind of interesting that we didn’t really lose momentum at any point. I think it was because we had a pile of gifts taking up space and were crying for homes, so we kept plugging away and finally finished them all this weekend. Granted, there’s still clutter, but not having a pile of new stuff staring at you when all you want to do is watch TV is kind of liberating.

As some of the post-wedding projects come to a close, I’m curious to see how it’ll all pan out. The wedding was such a huge part of our lives for an entire year and we did know that it wouldn’t end the day after we committed to each other in front of our friends and family, but I’m interested to see just how different our lives are once this huge thing is actually over when it was so much bigger than both of us and was present for so long.


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